Do You Have Herpes?

I think the toughest part about being a twentysomething single male in New York City (as if dating in this city wasn’t torture enough) is that you don’t want to tell anyone that you have bed bugs, but eventually someone will ask, “what are those marks on your arm?”

For those unfamiliar with the after effects of bed bugs, their bites sometimes turn into something that resembles reddish welts.

I don’t want to say I have a skin rash, or some type of STD that makes your skin break out. Two days ago this beautiful girl asked me what the series of reddish marks were on my arm. I literally told her the following, and cannot believe she bought it.

“I was fighting this guy in his house, and he ran into his kitchen, came out with a meat tenderizer and started swinging it at me. You know those old-fashioned tenderizers that look like mallets? I kept using my forearm to block each blow until I punched him in the throat and ran out.”

I don’t why I came out with that lie. I guess it was because when she asked, I didn’t have an alibi ready, and I didn’t want to tell her I have a bed bug infestation, and as you can imagine, I sure as hell didn’t want to make up having some kind of illness or STD. Illnesses that mark or deform the skin are usually contagious. Besides, the story makes me look macho because my imaginary enemy was attacking me with a weapon and I took him out with my bare hands.

I totally got her phone number. Score.

10 Responses to “Do You Have Herpes?”

  1. fast weight loss diet says:

    I’m totally agreed with you
    This Information was so informative and precise
    I hope to there were more pages like this one
    and I like to invite you to visit my page…
    We are online pharmacy…
    If you need any information about medicines
    medications,treatment against any disease, prescriptions or online prescriptions
    contact us. We´ll be so glad to help you
    and to help people does need any medication
    We are here for your good.10/325- Vicoprofen - Lortab- Tylenol
    #3
    - zyban
    All Major Medications are available right here at: http://www.crdrx.com

  2. Anonymous says:

    Individuals who are living with herpes have to persistently be mindful of their diet and health concerns. There are nutritional needs that you can get through your slim that is noted to be active in vitro to the herpes virus. A high fast well-heeled in Lysine which can come near from vegetables, dairy farm products, leguminous place, catch fish, and sprouts is full of zip next to the herpes microbe, but avoiding arginine rich foods like bonbon, thoughtless, carob, coconut meat, and soy.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I have the pleasure to visiting your site. I like it. Its
    helpful and informative.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I have the pleasure to visiting your site. Its informative and helpful, you may want to read about obesity and overweight health problems, losing weight, calories and “How You Can Lower Your Health Risks” at phentermine site.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Best pills: viagra, cialis, levitra, European quality. Cheap price.
    buy generic viagra

  6. Diana says:

    Bedbugs (or bed bugs) are small nocturnal insects of the family Cimicidae that live by hematophagy, sportsbook, that is by feeding on the blood of humans and other warm-blooded hosts. http://www.enterbet.com

  7. STDromancedotcom says:

    Got Herpes? Do not despair. You are not alone. 1 in 5 men and 1 in 4 women are living with herpes. Don’t Let Genital Herpes Run or Ruin Your Life. Dating and relationship help for people with genital herpes now http://www.STDromance.com

  8. mineral makeup says:

    companies marketing mineral makeups and also get the best bargains in mineral makeup you can imagine,
    find aout how to consolidate your students loans or just how to lower your actual rates.,
    looking for breast enlargements? in Rochester,
    homeopathy for eczema learn about it.,
    Allergies, information about lipitor,
    save big with great bargains in mineral makeup,

    change edition interviewing motivational people preparing second
    ,

    interviewing motivational people preparing second time
    ,

    interviewing people motivational preparing for a second time
    ,

    black mold exposure
    ,

    black mold exposure symptoms
    ,

    black mold symptoms of exposure
    ,

    free job interview questions
    ,

    free job interview answers
    ,

    interview answers to get a job
    ,

    lookfor hair styles for fine thin hair
    ,

    search hair styles for fine thin hair
    ,

    hair styles for fine thin hair
    ,

    beach resort in the philippines
    ,

    great beach resort in the philippines
    ,

    luxury beach resort in the philippines
    ,
    iron garden gates, here,
    iron garden gates,
    wrought iron garden gates
    , here
    ,
    wrought iron garden gates
    ,
    You: The Owner’s Manual: An Insider’s Guide to the Body That Will Make You Healthier and Younger
    ,
    eat eating mindless more than think we we why
    ,

    texturizer,
    texturizers here,
    black hair texturizer,
    find aout how care curly hair,
    find about how to care curly hair,
    care curly hair,
    lipitor rash,
    lipitor reactions,
    new house ventura california,
    the house new houston tx,
    new house washington dc,
    new house pa philadelphia,
    san antonio tx house new,
    house new pa philadelphia,
    new house washington dc,
    new house ventura california,
    the house new houston tx,
    house new san antonio tx,
    the house new houston tx, that you are looking for,
    new house ventura california, you need to buy,
    new house washington dc,
    house new pa philadelphia,
    new house san antonio tx,

    hair surgery transplant
    ,

    air filter allergy
    ,

    refurbished dell laptop computers
    ,

    hair surgery transplant
    ,

    air filter allergy
    ,

    refurbished dell laptop computers
    ,

    hair surgery transplant
    ,

    air filter allergy
    ,

    refurbished dell laptop computers
    ,

    chocolate esophagus heartburn study
    ,

    chocolate esophagus heartburn study
    be informed,

    digestion healing healthy heartburn natural preventing way
    ,

    digestion healing healthy heartburn natural preventing way
    ,
    sew skirts, 16simple styles you can make!,
    sew what skirts 16 simple styles you,
    rebates and discounts on sunsetter awnings,
    sunsetter awnings discounts and rebates,
    discount on sunsetter awnings

    truck and bus tires 12r 22.5, get the best price,
    tires truck and bus 12r 22.5 best price,
    tires truck bus tires12r 22.5 best price,
    plush car seat strap covers,
    car seat strap covers,plush,
    car seat strap, plush covers,

    effectiveness of zocor vs. lipitor
    ,

    chocolate esophagus
    ,
    southwestern wrought iron yard gate,
    exterior iron gates,
    oriental wrought iron gates,
    powder coated iron garden fencing,

Leave a Reply